From our staff reporter looking for the next backdating scandal scoop.
We sent our field staff reporter Jim Gowan on a investigative report to find the exclusive scoop on backdating. Unfortunately Jim from Joliet, IL and was not all “wound up” about the stock options backdating thing. He was just a single guy looking for a date.
Turns out he got both MATCH.COM and eHARMONY.com to sponsor his trip. Until the two “doctors” - Neil Clark Warren and Phil figured out “backdating” never meant going back to date his old high school flame.
“At eHarmony our mission is to get you the best price on backdating. If you can save money by going back to date your old flames who you dumped and then found out there was none better, more power to you” said Dr. Neil.
“Executives today have less time than ever” said Dr. Phil, “add to that the pressures of getting the best price on stock options, backdating is the best way we can help”.
Currently both match.com and eharmony.com have a promotion exclusively for executives either fired or dumped due to the backdating issue.
SEC Chairman Khristopher Kox frowned on the issue saying “We dont have any problem if executives get these perks, but stockholders have a right to full disclosure. All backdating fees and discounts need to be full reported in the 10K and 8K reports”.
Currently over 70 executives have signed up for the program according to Jim. Repeated calls to 5 executives from Cyberonics, UnitedHealth and Home Depot, were unanswered.
Jim did not get any deal at either Match.com or eHarmony.com since his old flame refused his backdating due to tax and possible restatement of his vows around keeping 60 feet distance after his last encounter with her.
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